Synopsis "Daryl Van Horne IS Santa Claus: Also includes: EARWIG (in English)"
Santa's feeling just a bit under-appreciated. He doesn't feel he's getting all the thanks he deserves for all his good work. On New Year's Eve, in a crowded bar in North Beach, he goes on stage to express his feelings: "The truth is that we live in a world with kids, and those kids want toys. Who's gonna provide all those kids with the toys they want? You? No, I alone have that responsibility. It falls on me. And, because I take my job seriously, because I handle my job flawlessly, and expeditiously, YOU get to sleep-in a little on Christmas morning. You have that luxury. You also have the luxury of not knowing who's naughty and who's so nice it sets their own mother's teeth on edge. And though my existence to you is laughable, and the source of your entertainment, the truth is--you want me out there. You need me out there. Without me, there would be no Christmas presents; no morning mayhem, no tears, no squeals of falsified delight, no disappointment. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to any so called daddy who doesn't know his own daughter's birthday let alone whether she wants the pink or the blue Wubbykin. You call me jolly, you call me the fat guy in the red suit; nobody ever calls me Mr. Claus, and nobody ever thanks me for the work I do. A plate of stale cookies is all the thanks I get. It's a slap in the face. The truth is, I'd like a simple sincere thank you once in a while, but maybe that's expecting too much. I may not like you and I may not like your little brats, but I do what is expected of me. I do my job. If you don't like the way I'm handling it, I suggest you pick up a sack of toys and climb on board your own sleigh. Otherwise, I don't give a damn what you want, and it's none of your business whether I'm jolly or not-I'm here for the little ones!" On his way out the door, something a wino says about society's rapid descent from decadence into depravity gets Santa thinking. And, in the end, instead of heading back to the North Pole, he heads to a small town in New England.(And we all know what happened there.)
